Like the drip drip drip of the raindrops when the summer shower is through, so a voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you night and day, you are the one. It's cheap to use the Cole Porter song that I think, if I remember correctly (which I might not, it could easily be that it's a different song, but I didn't think Love for Sale would be appropriate here), is the one he didn't like writing very much. Something about the obviousness, I'm sure, it was too simply stated over and over again in the refrain where the singer calls out to the thing that haunts them, the thing that makes their blood run and rush to their heart to keep them up at night, the thing that gives their waking moments purpose and the ones where they twist and lie in bed all the more tragic, the imploring, the longing. We both love a good longing. Maybe he just didn't like it because it was simple and it became the most popular, and god knows that if it's popular it can't be appealing to anyone with a brain, she said sarcastically. You were longed for, there was a deep yearning for you to be able to do a sliver of the things that the world knew you could and here we are years later and Toni is easily the most brilliant creature that we've ever seen. I don't have issue with taking that specific thing and running with it, maybe reiterating it for the nth time today.

Saying that you're gifted undercuts the world of work and perfectionism that practically leaps and licks off your skin and I have been lucky enough that people listened to me when I asked if I could saddle you with me. No one should have listened, but I'm grateful that you didn't throw me out with the bath water when the idea was first handed over to you. I have been a very lucky girl my entire life in one way or another and knowing and working and befriending you is something I can point to to prove that point and argument. She is fire and grace, I want to say that you were the princess that was too good to slice through someone's foot to get her way but we all know that's not true. You were and you remain the best of us on every single given day. There are so few fucking people as bright or as kind as you are, absolutely no one as fun to be stuck in tight spaces with, your perfume haunts my home still and I don't think I'd ever give up that ghost. You have taken the moon and made her relatable, through her sadness, through the way she's the ebb and tide of all of our emotions whether people want to admit to that part or not, her stillness, her madness being left aloft so high for so long and having no one to talk to except the stars that are too far away to keep entertaining conversations. There is no sun as bright as you and I would happily live forever in your light if it were possible.

I know you've kissed loads of girls now and there have been better, and I'm sorry I was so very messy about it but I do wish I would have bit you a little harder when I had the chance.

I love you to the moon and back forever, obviously.